Happy Holidays From Big Pappa

This was reproduced with permission and written by Mark Sierra from Me And My Drum.

Twas My Blog Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the ’sphere
Me and some bloggers were spreading good cheer.
All the ads were hung in my sidebar with care
In hope that my readers would soon click some there.

I wrote a few posts and scheduled ahead,
Awaited my traffic, while I was in bed.
Next morning I woke to find my stats low.
“What happened?” I cried, “Why didn’t they show?”

When I asked Adsense Tracker for her to help me
She said “Stumble Trolls are the answer, you see?”
So I stumbled and stumbled, then stumbled some more
I searched for one hundred, but only found four.

Scary they were, all angry and wrinkled
Some consumed donuts (some of them sprinkled).
“Can you bring me my traffic, and make it real high?”
I awaited their answer, while swatting a fly.

“Get lost, little blogger, we serve only ourselves.
If it’s help that you want, find some blog elves!”
“Blog Elves” I repeated. Do they really exist?
So I sailed to Kyle’s Cove, to see what I missed.

“No Blog Elves are here,” Kyle said with a grin.
“What you need my good man is a WordPress plugin.”
I scratched my head thinking who else I should ask,
I began to fret over this challenging task.

My adventure it took me to a friend I call “K”
So I stopped at his home page to see what he’d say.
“Glad you asked me, good buddy, I have lots I can mention,
But what you need now is a browser extension.”

I said, “Thank you, friend K, but I have far too many.”
So I sailed and I paid the toll man his penny.
Penny! That’s it! The answer is money!
So I went to the man whose wife calls him “honey”.

Security was tight and the line was quite long.
To close on my goal, I had to stay strong.
When I finally approached his shiny gold throne,
I felt very small, I felt so alone.

“Excuse me, kind sir”, my voice it was squeaky,
“Can you help my young blog?”, I said rather meekly.
The man, he walked toward me, I quickly grew wary.
When he stopped just before me, his name tag read “Garry“.

“Dude, what you need is my frequent reminder.
It’s a very cool tool called Micro Niche Finder.”
And laying a finger aside of his nose,
His jet-pack flared on, up the chimney he rose.

I peered out the window as he floated and flew.
“You need awesome content and Google AdSense, too!”
So I went back to blogging, and wrote this here post,
Not knowing to Google if I would play host.

Would search engines find me? Would people stay here?
Would the Feedburner chicklet go into high gear?
Blogging Gal Tish and some ThingsbyMike
Had blogs that they love, but mine would they like?

Then finally it happened. There arose such a clatter,
I ran to my blog, to see what was the matter.
G’Analytics showed numbers aglow.
I was thrilled and ecstatic. Oh what a show!

Readers left comments, told friends far and wide.
Even Bush stopped to say, “That is quite a tide
Of traffic you have here, my gosh that’s so cool!”
I love it when I have caused others to drool.

But I know that to keep it involves lots of work.
Keep writing good posts and not be a jerk.
So as this year closes, I say to the ’sphere,
Thanks for your comments and coming back here!

The man on his jet-pack, I could hear flying by,
And as he drew near heard him utter this cry:
“Now Caveman, now Allyn, now Jason, and Beth,
On Tyler, on Joe on Ryan and now Blake!”

These are the bloggers who I travel with most.
And to each I assign this “Twas” Christmas post.
Just copy and paste, and tweak as you like,
Remember to link to others you like.