The Front Fell Off The Oil Tanker

On August 19th 2007, an oil tanker off the coast of Australia split in two, dumping 20,000 tons of crude oil.

Senator Collins, a member of the Australian Parliament, appeared on a TV news program to reassure the Australian public. This actual interview is so funny, you'd swear it was a Saturday Night Live or Monty Python skit.



I didn't know that they weren't allowed to make oil tankers out of paper, string, cello tape or rubber. Who knew.

 

Stupid Panera Lids.

Last night I made a quick stop at Panera on my way home. I grabbed a Smokehouse Turkey sandwich and one of those frozen coffee/caramel concoctions with the whipped cream on the top. Yeah I know it's high in calories but hey, I was weak.

Anyway, the dome shaped lid that they put on the cup has a hole at the top for the HUGE straws they use. Have you ever seen those straws they have there? Seriously, I think you could fit a dime down it. The dime may not touch the sides on it's way through. Gigantic straws aside, when the gal put the lid on that little brown cup of love, it "squished" caramel and whipped cream out the hole and on the exterior of the straw.

I left the store and got in my truck. By the time I made it to the truck, the whipped cream/caramel slurry had begun to run down the side of the dome shaped lid. I ask you. What would you do is this situation? Of course, you lick if off.

Now it probably wasn't your ordinary lick. I think I may have been really working the sides of the gigantic straw and the edges of the hole with my tongue. I mean I was into it. I must have been really carried away to have not noticed the two girls walking very slowly and staring at me through the windshield. As I finished and went to start the truck, I made eye contact with my 2 fans. To my shock, they both looked at me in complete disgust, rolled their eyes and made for the door.

Looking back I realized how that must have looked. Ladies, if by some strange twist of fate, you are reading this blog, I apologize for that display. I really am a nice guy. Oh and thanks for not taking a video of it.

 

"What I Found In My Email" Mondays. Vol.1 - Issue 2

Country Preacher

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost, and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do.The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul.

As I preached the workers began to say "Amen", "Praise the Lord", and "Glory"! I preached and I preached, like I'd never preached before--from Genesis all the way to Revelations.

I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't ever seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

 

Fun Video of the Day

I don't know if this is real or not but it is still pretty funny.